Oh the 4th, she wanted to do a photo shoot. Her idea, not mine. Somehow I think she was coaxing her way away from the fireworks because she has no interest in blowing things up and loud bangs. Her mom and sisters were doing enough of that anyway.
And somehow they turned out to be some of my favorite pictures of her, ever. I love those accidental facial expressions and full-of-love eye shots that she can give you through lens. Her little innocence is just sitting there, waiting to be lapped up with light. I love that too.
I hope that she never loses that part of her, that innocent love for life. That as she grows older, she doesn’t have to endure the weird or cruel things other kids can say. I know that someday she will have to stand up for herself, be stronger than everyone else, and brush off negativity, but still, I wish I could protect her little heart from that kind of worry.
Disability brings scars, in both physical ways and emotional ways. In the 10 years that I have been paralyzed, I have felt myself become stronger, more resilient in many ways, but still, there are parts of me that are gaping wide open with things that I wish I could change, things that still cut me deep. I think it will be the same for Serenity. Her hands may bring attention, and she will either ignore it or she is going to fight it with all the attitude she can muster.
She is still one of the most beautiful people I know, no matter what.
tomorrow may bring
some new adventure,
but for tonight,
let’s stay up late
and laugh at the moon.
you, in all your
weighted yellow glory,
covering my day with
the honey-colored light
that makes me wish
you would never
have to leave.
Fill me up with it
to last me
I have been on a Pinterest kick. And a health kick. And a we-could-totally-make-this-better kick.
And on almost all three, I am right.
If I had known how easy it was to make granola, I would have started long ago, before the recipes flooded my Pinterest yummy board. I tend to eat mine in a bowl with almond milk (also something that is new to me, and totally delicious). Or on top of my plain vanilla greek yogurt. Even with the weight gain challenge still happening for me (I don’t think that will ever change), I want to be healthy about it. I don’t want to overindulge on salts and fats and bad things. Okay, wait, yes I want to, but I won’t. There is a difference.
This is the basic recipe I go from for each batch, with some tweaks to fruits/nuts, depending on my mood that day. If you all have other recipes, send them my way. I am always up for a change. Go for it!
- 3 cups old-fashioned oats
- 1 cup coarsely chopped pecans
- 1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut (I usually leave this out)
- 3 tablespoons (packed) brown sugar
- 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon (generous) salt
- 1/3 cup honey
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
- 1 cup assorted dried fruit
Preheat oven to 300°F. Line rimmed baking sheet with parchment. Mix first 7 ingredients in large bowl. Stir honey and oil in saucepan over medium-low heat until smooth. Pour honey mixture over oat mixture; toss. Spread on prepared sheet. Bake until golden, stirring every 10 minutes, about 40 minutes. Place sheet on rack. Stir granola; cool. Mix in fruit. DO AHEAD Can be made 1 week ahead. Store airtight.
Sometimes I see
a silent prayer in your face,
a small understanding that
something isn’t right here.
That young innocence
protects your heart
from the great loss
we all know is true.
That innocence that only
feels the love you know
and not a whole hole gaping wide
with so many missed moments
in the stretched future.
Your little words of longing
about how you can still say
whatever you want
because your mama said so
break my heart
even a little more.
I miss your Pa too,
the ease of your wickedness
shone down like a summer sun
through thick green branches
and bubbled my skin just the same.
I must have been a horrible person
to deserve this, surely.
aloe vera and a little love
will heal my tender scorches–
but where will you go
for such a vile soul?
straight to Hell–
and I hope the devil is your doctor.
I sent these off a few weeks ago, after I got the new blog set up, and now I am finally able to show them.
New business cards!
There is something about gray that I just love. I cannot help it. On the other hand, I don’t want to overdo it and start to get sick of it either (like I did with yellow for the wedding) so I may start going another direction when this batch is gone. We’ll see.
I have been getting a lot of stuff going on. Stamps, photo shoots, logo designs, save the dates. Exciting stuff. I’m so glad that I will have these cute little cards to hand out.
More on this later, but for now, the important part is done.
(Sorry in advance for the blurry Instagram photo. I sorta like it though.)
It’s a fierce thing that
hits me hard every few hours,
a hard knot between my sternum and soul
that refuses to unravel,
a despair so sharp I am sure
it could break me.
The days between the day you died
feel like centuries.
There is so much to tell you.
I brave this summer with chipped nails
and a silent half-empty heart,
where your memory, our memories,
sit to stew and fuel me until tomorrow,
where I will have to wake up,
and start over again.
I am a horrible Project Life blogger, aren’t I? I go weeks without showing anything, and truthfully, my Project Life has not been very exciting lately anyway. Most of our days are spent waiting now. Waiting to hear from the bank. Waiting to hear from the realtor. Waiting for the weekends. Just lots of waiting. Not the kind of thing that motivates me to take photos and keep note of the days.
But hopefully with the closing of our home, things will pick up. We will have lots of work to do and hopefully very little waiting.
I recently subscribed to Studio Calico’s Project Life monthly kit, something I said I would never do (I swore off subscribing to any kit for that matter), but I have to say I love it. The small embellishmnts are things I would never normally go for, but I am surprising myself at how easily I am using them. And the quality of the cards is great. All around a win for me. I have seen complaints on SC community boards about lack of embellishments in the kits, etc, but really, I think that a switch-up between months of heavy embellishments and gorgeous cards is a good thing. I don’t want to be swimming in sequins and glitter and die cuts every month. Wood veneers are a different story.
I am still trying to keep things simple and straight to my style. Heavy pictures and only necessary journaling. As easy as possible. Maybe when we move I will have more time and focus on this Project, but for now, this is doing the job.